they got it, they want it, they gave it away.

The Ice Is Getting Thinner, by Death Cab for Cutie.
such a beautiful song, rather sad though.
love this band, i can never get sick of them.

we’re not the same, dear, as we used to be,
the seasons have changed and so have we.
there was little we could say and even less that we could do,
to stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

</3

i feel as if a part of my gut has been ripped open and salt as replaced my wounds. i might talk to you tomorrow, the next day, or never again. but as of right now, i am heartbroken and extremely hurt. never in my life would i have thought that we would be as close as we did. and even though things started to take a turn for the worst in the end, i do not regret one minute of it. to think that you used me makes me sick to my stomach. i cannot believe how shallow someone could be until i met you. how could someone live such a heartless and soulless life? you are so caught up in your own life, and to think that you do not even care what’s going on in mine makes me think that the last eight months of our friendship was just leading up to this point. you are seriously the biggest asshole i have ever met. you are so arrogant and self-centered it makes me hard to believe how i even became close with such a horrible person. or how anyone could ever love you. you are a shitty friend. having no emotion makes you even less of a man, and for that i have no respect for you anymore. i will love you always, and you’ll always be my best friend. my life is different because of you. i will never listen to guitar the same again. such a simple instrument yet you brought so much life into it. i appreciate the sound of music more than ever, and every time i hear an acoustic guitar/electric i will think of you. alwayz. we have so many good memories, but they seem cheap to me now. no one will ever be able to fight with me the way that you do. and no one will ever understand me as much as you have. how much you know the little things about me makes me think that you have a tiny beating pulse inside your black rock of a heart. your attention to detail is vivid, but it is fading now. maybe at one point you did care about me and the things in my life. but nothing stays the same for long. you were so sure that we would be friends forever, but i cannot stand to be treated like some dog. to sit and stay when you please. you threw my emotions around and never took me seriously. honestly, i don’t think you will ever find a stable relationship/friends EVER in your life, if you stay the way you are.

i have a LOVE/HATE relationship with you. it’s always been like that and it always will. no matter what shit i have put up with and gone through with you, i will be here for you. as fucked up as that is, i have too much of heart to turn away and a hurt soul. karama will eat away at you, sooner or later.

i wish you the best of luck with your current girlfriend, senior year, and of course the marines. i hope you don’t die, even if i say i want you too.

</3 au revoir.